Of wet poop and gratitude

Steve has been in Minnesota for over a week, now. The house is too quiet, the bed is too cold, and I've lost weight because I'm too lazy to cook so I just eat a salad when I get home.

Cry me a river, right?

It is not that I don't appreciate Steve when he's here, I absolutely do. I'd like to think my gratitude is ever-present and obvious, given whole-heartedly and with much enthusiasm, but perhaps I had forgotten just how much there is to be thankful for around here.

This wet week in Northern California has dumped quite a lot of rain on us. This is another reason to be happy and grateful, but it adds weight to horse poop and unused hay.

Who needs CrossFit? I have wet, soggy, heavy horse poop to swing up, over and then into the poop cart. Pretty sure that move has a much cooler name in some gym somewhere. Once upon a time, I think I used a fancy machine in a gym that mimicked that tighten-twist-lift thing that is oh-so-much better with a rake full of soggy poop. Never underestimate the added benefit of weight at the end of a poo-rake for building core strength. Or throwing out your back if you're not careful. That, too. Add to that wrestling heavy bales of hay into their proper storage place. Bales that weigh almost as much as I do and are pokey--it's like wrestling a porcupine into a shoe box.

Muddy brown horse saying more hay would be great.

But while I'm getting a great workout, I am also burning daylight hours that could be spent riding. And I could absolutely ride after I clean. If I didn't want to eat at 9 o'clock (which I don't) or go to bed at an hour that makes my 5:30 a.m. wake up time not so horrid. (Gotta have my eight hours or things get ugly.)

So this temporary routine while Steve is gone makes me deeply appreciate the fact that the poop is normally cleaned up and the horses have already been grained by the time I get to the barn. All I have to do is groom and ride and make it home for dinner. Which is usually cooked and waiting for me.

Makes me sound like a princess a little, yeah?

Apparently, Lena is not the only one who needs a tiara.

Steve says cooking is self-preservation. I know it's really that he wants to eat well and relying on me for that is NOT A GOOD PLAN. Ever. I burn things. A lot.

Am I glad he's coming home Thursday? Why yes, yes I am.

Milestones

Calabar and I have ridden quite a journey together--from both of us not knowing much to knowing a little and trying a lot to figuring out what we can work on that is fun for both of us. Along the way, we've had some great teachers and terrific support from a lot of people. Peter (my barn owner) teases me a lot but also pushes gently when it's time for me to be a little braver. Steve, of course, has always been there for me and for Calabar, telling me to trust myself and trust my horse. Karen has been supportive and always offers a trick or two based on the two personalities involved. Katie tells me all the time I'll be fine and she's usually right. Allie dares me to just go for it and applauds Calabar and me for all our efforts.

It seems like it's all helped us make some progress! At a recent clinic with our favorite Dressage instructor Ellen Eckstein, Calabar and I managed to eke out a rather decent trot. Better than that, we worked through some fussiness and behavior challenges and focused on the work at hand. 

It has sometimes been a hard road for us but the smile on my face at the end of this video plus the attentive and focused expression on Calabar's face says we have made it a good journey. There is more to come, always more to learn, but the joy and the passion persist.

I love this horse. I love what he has taught me and how far we have come together. I can't wait to see what we can do next! To all of you who have supported us and believed in us, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. We may have gotten this far without you, but it wouldn't have been as much fun.

Smiles after the clinic. Love this horse.

True love

Sometimes, in the midst of beating myself up and wishing I'd done better, Steve smacks me (delicately) upside my head.

He just told me how proud he is of me and how much I've been able to accomplish with Calabar and reminded me not to minimize all the work we've actually done together. He said, "You love him and he loves you and I think you did have an epiphany yesterday!" He's excited to see what is going to happen with us now.

Then he made me cry.

As I stated in an earlier post, one of my biggest fears is that Calabar will hurt me badly enough I can't ride. Or worse. And then he'd be the horse no one would want because he hurt his rider.

Do you know what Steve just promised me? He promised that if anything happened, he would do his very best to find my big horse a home. He'd call Devon and Howie and Karen and find my network of blog and Facebook friends and make sure my big guy didn't become dog food.

NOT, by the way, that I intend to let anything happen, but good grief I feel like a lucky girl.

Out and about

Photographic proof that at least Steve and the horses got out on this fine autumn day. You'll just have to believe it was me in the other side of the camera.
It was a lovely day, a good ride, and just what we all needed.