Bouncy horses

Yee haw!

Remember these? I can still hear the sound of the springs squeaking maniacally as I did my level best to launch myself to the sky.

My horse (and several others at the barn) are channeling their plastic imitator this week. Spring, green grass, cool weather and some sunshine have all added up to wild ponies showing off their inner dragons. Or maybe just showing off to one another in the ageless dance of spring, trying to prove they are a good mate.

I'm not sure what good bucking and farting does for him, but Calabar put on quite a show last night when I turned him loose in the arena--highest bucks I've seen him do in quite awhile. Maybe he was adjusting his pelvis? Or maybe he was just feeling strong and healthy and thrilled to be able to run a little.

Lena just likes to wander around and sniff things--probably looking for stray carrots--but it's good for her to relax and wander a bit. She reserves her silliness for spooky corners and the dreaded jump poles. We practice WALKING over the jump. Not hopping. Not bolting over it. WALKING. Thinking is good, too.

Even though the horses are all spring-loaded at the moment, I'm looking forward to spring and sunny days after all this much-needed rain. And thankful we finally got all this rain. Having the hills summertime brown in late winter was disturbing for horses and humans alike.

Happy Spring!

Of wet poop and gratitude

Steve has been in Minnesota for over a week, now. The house is too quiet, the bed is too cold, and I've lost weight because I'm too lazy to cook so I just eat a salad when I get home.

Cry me a river, right?

It is not that I don't appreciate Steve when he's here, I absolutely do. I'd like to think my gratitude is ever-present and obvious, given whole-heartedly and with much enthusiasm, but perhaps I had forgotten just how much there is to be thankful for around here.

This wet week in Northern California has dumped quite a lot of rain on us. This is another reason to be happy and grateful, but it adds weight to horse poop and unused hay.

Who needs CrossFit? I have wet, soggy, heavy horse poop to swing up, over and then into the poop cart. Pretty sure that move has a much cooler name in some gym somewhere. Once upon a time, I think I used a fancy machine in a gym that mimicked that tighten-twist-lift thing that is oh-so-much better with a rake full of soggy poop. Never underestimate the added benefit of weight at the end of a poo-rake for building core strength. Or throwing out your back if you're not careful. That, too. Add to that wrestling heavy bales of hay into their proper storage place. Bales that weigh almost as much as I do and are pokey--it's like wrestling a porcupine into a shoe box.

Muddy brown horse saying more hay would be great.

But while I'm getting a great workout, I am also burning daylight hours that could be spent riding. And I could absolutely ride after I clean. If I didn't want to eat at 9 o'clock (which I don't) or go to bed at an hour that makes my 5:30 a.m. wake up time not so horrid. (Gotta have my eight hours or things get ugly.)

So this temporary routine while Steve is gone makes me deeply appreciate the fact that the poop is normally cleaned up and the horses have already been grained by the time I get to the barn. All I have to do is groom and ride and make it home for dinner. Which is usually cooked and waiting for me.

Makes me sound like a princess a little, yeah?

Apparently, Lena is not the only one who needs a tiara.

Steve says cooking is self-preservation. I know it's really that he wants to eat well and relying on me for that is NOT A GOOD PLAN. Ever. I burn things. A lot.

Am I glad he's coming home Thursday? Why yes, yes I am.

Aahh, Spring

Spring is here, and with it comes mud (thanks to much-needed rain) and lots of shedding as winter coats slick out on their way to being summer coats.

We have hair, lots of hair, coming off both Bar and Lena in gobs. Some of it ended up on the groomer (me), but a lot of it ended up in the barn alley in piles of radically different colors and textures. Lena's hair is thicker and the white hair seems to be shedding out faster. Calabar has a soft, downy undercoat and it gets in my mouth as it fluffs off in clouds under the shedding blade.

This first pass was just the beginning.

Big wad of horse hair

And my horses love the mud. They are quite creative in their self-decoration, both of them.

Happy muddy brown horse

Gorgeous muddy spotty horse

Calabar even managed to ice his backside, which means there were some gymnastics.

Butt mud

Good to know my horse was self-adjusting his long spine.

Look at that muddy butt

I'm glad we are getting rain, really glad. Even if it means my horses are either muddy or blanketed. Blanketed if I want to ride or muddy if I don't mind taking time to groom for awhile before getting on.

Ah, spring. It's lovely.

Working with Faulty Confirmation

Not Calabar's or Lena's, no. They have quite nice confirmation, actually. We are talking about my confirmation, which is not as perfect as it perhaps could be. This is becoming more and more apparent as I continue to beef up my exercise program and find new places that ache along the way.

Who cares if I'm balanced? Oh, right. He does.

Like most of us, I am not symmetrical. There are some left over injuries and skeletal imperfections that make me short and tight on the right side, sore and scrunched on the left side. No worries, though--it is what it is and I am able to be as active as I have time and energy for. When I'm in the saddle, the horses are very good at informing me that I've started to twist to compensate. Standing on my own two feet, however, it has proven to be more of a challenge to uncurl my body from that muscle memory-induced corkscrew. Standing, walking, and now adding a little jogging? Well, that has led to some aches and pains that only get worse if I stop moving.

Really, it's just a knee that is aggravating me the most but it turns out the knee bone is actually connected to the hip bone. Or rather, hip stability plays a big part in my way of going and I need more stability in my life to support the legs that meander down to the ground below those hips.

So I've been working on that, doing special exercises designed to increase hip stability--all added onto my existing core work that helps keep me upright and saves my back from itself. Not to mention a lot of foam rolling and stretching. In case you don't have one, a foam roller is a great tool for loosening up tight muscles of all kinds.

But back to having my own two feet on the ground and a brief conversation with the chiropractor (and friend) who hands down all these good exercises. A conversation in which it was revealed to me that my knees like to rotate in. What? My posture is excellent--I get compliments on it all the time. Shoulders are back, chest open, head and neck perched above shoulders in excellent alignment. But the knees? The knees do roll inwards towards each other making me, yes, knock-kneed. I think the good doctor used a more medically-approved term, but knees pointing at each other are by any other name, well, knocking.

Drat.

Could this be why I end up with bruises on the inside of these traitorous knees when I ride? Compounded by my twisted hips, however, I usually only end up with a bruise on the inside of one knee--the left. So my body is showing me where things are amiss, and I just need to pay attention.

It is hard, by the way, to retrain a 47-year old body to use muscles and structures the way they are strongest, the way they were designed to be used. Rotating those knees out activates my glute muscles in ways that feel right if not necessarily comfortable at this exact moment in time. And, here's the kicker, when I get the knees in the right place, my right foot rotates up onto the outside, pronating out to do some sort of odd compensation thing, while my left hip goes to it's default up-and-to-the-right location. There is a lot of concentration required to make my body stop the march to its comfort zone.

So I practice. I practice while I brush my teeth in the morning. I practice when I stand at the sink doing dishes. I really practice when I'm lifting weights--might as well try to retrain more than one set of muscles at a time, right?

And, yes, I try to practice in the saddle, too. It goes better some days than other days, but at least in the saddle, there is instant feedback I can't ignore. "You're doing it again," says the ear flicking back towards me.

Going back to the body I was born with, or even going back to the way it was before I did some of the damage, is not realistic. So working with what I've got and--just like life--figuring ways to make it better is the only option.

One solid, balanced step at a time.

Lena and her opposite friend Calabar

Prior to our day of dentistry today, I took Miss Lena Rey out for a little play time in the arena. She obliged my camera habit by being her lovely and photogenic self and obliged herself by rolling extensively in several corners of the arena. Watching her reminded me--again--how different our two horses are.

Watching me watching her

Almost like a reflection of their personalities, their mouths and their attitudes towards being drugged and doctored differ, too.

Calabar's mouth is still a work in progress. The first time we got his teeth done, Leslie said, "If he's ever had his teeth done, I can't tell." That was many years and many floatings ago and we are finally in maintenance mode with him. No ulcers on his cheeks this time, no nasty hook on his back tooth. He is, however, certain that while he is weakened by whatever we've injected into him, SOMETHING will happen. And it is likely to be very, very bad. It is no matter that nothing really bad has actually ever happened to him while in our care. Lena has room to worry, having had Leslie's arm up her rear once and a tube down her nose shortly thereafter. Calabar has had no such experiences and yet his defensiveness persists.

Lena has a mouth as good as her big, thick-walled hooves. She had some hooks today, but she had gone longer between dentist appointments while we did a little in-between work to clean up Calabar's mouth. Leslie was still in and out in maybe 30 minutes. Tops. She was well-drugged, yes, but she still approaches things with a confidence that it will all turn out okay. It probably means she has had many less reasons to doubt her humans than Calabar does, though we have made many (very) long strides in our journey together.

Calabar goes under but is never quite relaxed, still holding his jaw tight and biting the floats Leslie uses at the end to do the final clean up, pushing his tongue into her way. Lena, on the other hand, descends into her happy place and lets Leslie get in and work, no fuss, no argument.

They have had different paths to our family and it shows. I love them both for who they are, as different as they are.

I love Calabar for the many things he has taught me and the many things we have yet to learn.

And I love Lena for her open honesty and trust, as reflected in her lovely and beautiful face.

The lovely Lena Rey

Once upon a time

It's amazing what technology can do.

For instance, linking my new phone to various accounts means my photo gallery contains gems from the photo archives I might have forgotten about.

Like the face of the horse I fell in love with back in 2007. He looks younger, different, than he does now. And I love him even more now after what all we've learned together.

Oh, that sweet face. Little did I know. :)

And a more typical expression.

Or the first time we took Lena to the beach all by her lonesome. Well, except for Katie, Steve and me, of course. This is Lena demonstrating her athletic abilities against those fearful logs.

Logs.. less scary than waves.

As I scroll back in time, there are many photos reminding me of roads we've all traveled with the horses. There is also hindsight--a look of confusion or anxiety on Calabar's face that I missed way back then. Or a smile on my face that reminds me I have always loved both horses in spite of sometimes less than stellar behavior on their parts.

Aw, so cute. Right before they broke my ribs in 2010.

I rode through an antic last night--one of those unexplained spooks that make no sense to anyone but the horse spooking--and realized my butt is stickier than it used to be. Or perhaps my balance is better. Or maybe I just know my horse well enough now to stay with him during the anticipated squirt forward in "that corner" of the arena.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Um, two big trucks leaving at the same time?" said Calabar. (Last time it was a bird screeching outside the arena.)

"Oh. Can we get back to what we were doing, now?"

And we do. Or we take a few moments to do something familiar, something we both know, so the focus comes back.

Pretending we know what we're doing.

Because the great thing about horses is there is always now, which means you are always moving forward--even if you have to step backwards to do it.

The great thing about my horses is they always keep it interesting.

"Are we done dressing up, yet?"

Year of the Horse

Welcome to 2014--the Year of the Horse according to Chinese astrology.

It's been the year of the horse for me for over eight years, since that August afternoon in 2005 when Lena Rey Flo stepped off the trailer and into our lives for good. Or for evil, depending on her mood. Since then, we have added to our equine family as well as introduced extended our reach to include the Neigh Savers horses that have passed through on their way to new homes.

Here are some of my favorite shots from 2013, including a fitting one of Lena with her Christmas crown:

"Finally an appropriate outfit," she says.

Dixie (a successful NS adoptee) at her first show

Another NS adoptee, Clyde, with his new mom Mary Sue. I got a friend out of this deal, too!

My darling daughter was busy this year and is on her way to
exciting adventures in the land of EMT-ness.

Calabar made friends with Allie who lets him jump over things.

A horse-free vacation diving in Belize also occurred.

And another horse-free interlude in Catalina.

Star Nicholas, aptly named, came in October...

Got dressed up once..

And again for the holidays..

And moved to LA to pursue an acting career.

My own horse sporting feathers. "Really, Mom?"

We had a lot of adventures in 2013--no wonder the year flew by! Things may look a little different for 2014 but it will, astrologically speaking or not, still be a year of horses for us.

Happy New Year!

Teaching (or maybe learning) patience

Calabar has a set time frame for riding. It is generally about six furlongs, though we have been stretching that of late. And he has funny ways of telling me he thinks we are done. He heads, of course, back to the mounting block at the center of the arena. Regardless of which arena, there is a center and a mounting block signalling his intention to end the session. 

Ears of displeasure

In the indoor arena, there are trail obstacles set up. We have used these often as part of our cool down time so he believes if we do them, the riding should come to and end if he heads towards them. Regardless of where we are in our ride. We have also ended with a few jumps a little cross rail, so he will also wander over there in hopes of getting back to his dinner.

I am not an ogre. If he is doing what I am asking without arguing, I don't drill him endlessly and we end on a good note. However, if there is grumpiness or a little too much attitude, well, we have to work a little longer. 

This leads, as you may guess, to a little conflict now and again. 

We are learning and teaching patience together. 

Becoming impatient and bossy with Calabar is a losing battle. He is 1,200 pounds of opinion and unless I convince him we are having fun, I will not win. So, yes, sometimes I interrupt our collection and dressage work to jump over the cross rails a couple times. I don't care about form or how he comes out of it--we can worry about that later--I am more concerned that he gets to do something he likes so we can go back to doing what will help both of us be better in the long run. 

I figure we have lots of time to make us both better as a team, so taking the time to have some fun along the way can't hurt.

A Few Photos from Breeders' Cup 2013

For the second year in a row, I ventured down to sunny Southern California and Santa Anita for Breeders' Cup to promote awareness of Thoroughbred Aftercare. This year, Steve joined us and did a fantastic job handing out turquoise bracelets to the thousands of attendees to this premier racing event.

A Wear-To-Care bracelet worn by none other than Goldencents, winner of the Breeders' Cup Dirt Mile (Photo courtesy of CARMA.)

While there, I got to practice some of my newly gained photography skills--no more using the Auto setting for me--on some of the most beautiful subjects in the world.

Note: Flag race program while photographing or shortly thereafter so we know who's looking at us.

And just so you don't think I only photograph tall, dark brown horses:

Pretty red horse after a race. Distracted once more by beauty, details are lacking.

And for Lena Rey, a spotty pony horse taking a break between races:

Not too bad for a dark, indoor shot. It's the spots, they help.

This horse appears to be worried that the human is blocking his photo opportunity:

You're in front of the camera, dude.

And there is something in this shot that I just love, some energy between horse and handler as they center on each other with everything spinning around them:

His hat says "Street Girl," so.. Street Girl?

Got a few shots of the races, too, but often there are heads in my way. Go figure. However, there are names!

Gary Stevens on Beholder

Authenticity and Close Hatches before the Distaff

Golden Ticket before the Dirt Mile

Goldencents before (winning) the Dirt Mile

I'm still editing, looking for photos that are without human heads or are otherwise interesting. My photo skills are still improving, but I'm having fun with it all and obviously love the subject matter.

Hard working pony horses and outriders--kudos to these guys!

Same gorgeous horse pictured above in black and white. Hubba hubba.

Breeders' Cup is a two-day extravaganza of racing with some of the finest horses in the world parading right in front of you. This year also visited the event with tragedy. Secret Compass and jockey John Velazquez both paid a terrible price to be part of Breeders' Cup. My snapshots are meant to tap the wonder I feel in the presence of beings that seem not of this earth sometimes, not diminish the loss of a beautiful horse and injury of a talented rider. 

Peace.

Milestones

Calabar and I have ridden quite a journey together--from both of us not knowing much to knowing a little and trying a lot to figuring out what we can work on that is fun for both of us. Along the way, we've had some great teachers and terrific support from a lot of people. Peter (my barn owner) teases me a lot but also pushes gently when it's time for me to be a little braver. Steve, of course, has always been there for me and for Calabar, telling me to trust myself and trust my horse. Karen has been supportive and always offers a trick or two based on the two personalities involved. Katie tells me all the time I'll be fine and she's usually right. Allie dares me to just go for it and applauds Calabar and me for all our efforts.

It seems like it's all helped us make some progress! At a recent clinic with our favorite Dressage instructor Ellen Eckstein, Calabar and I managed to eke out a rather decent trot. Better than that, we worked through some fussiness and behavior challenges and focused on the work at hand. 

It has sometimes been a hard road for us but the smile on my face at the end of this video plus the attentive and focused expression on Calabar's face says we have made it a good journey. There is more to come, always more to learn, but the joy and the passion persist.

I love this horse. I love what he has taught me and how far we have come together. I can't wait to see what we can do next! To all of you who have supported us and believed in us, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. We may have gotten this far without you, but it wouldn't have been as much fun.

Smiles after the clinic. Love this horse.

An ex-racehorse named Calabar and his spotty friend Lena

Lena Rey was our first horse. She is big and beautiful and knows it. She likes to run fast but it is good for her mind to slow down and focus. Her friend Calabar is the opposite. He needs to speed up to get his mind pointed the right direction.

Oh, he looks good in black and white

Funny we have ended up with two such different horses, but then again maybe not.

Allie and Lena moving slowly--Lena is listening very hard

When Lena starts to amp up--usually by the gate and almost always before I've asked her to--I turn her. We do serpentines or circles, sometimes across the whole darned arena for awhile. Because once she starts going, you've lost the concentration battle and there will be no more learning thereafter for either of you. Sometimes this is okay. Steve likes to just go out and ride and enjoy each other and the freedom of the gallop. I tend towards a little more work on my part and that requires a little more concentration on Lena's part. I can't work on my position and my posting if we are galloping. She can't work on her long trot and transitions if we're galloping. "It's good for you," I say. "Pbbbbbbrrrth," she says, blowing air out in a big sigh of resignation. Actually, I hope it's relaxation but my guess is it depends on the day.

Calabar rarely amps up. He would prefer to stand in the middle of the arena and watch other horses do all the work but he is always willing to be saddled and--once we get rolling--he works for me. And he works pretty hard. He is learning collection at the ripe old age of 13 and it's not so easy for him. "Why can't I balance with my neck, it's what I've always done??" he snorts. I explain that it's much better to use his whole body and he says that would be easier if I wasn't such a spaz in the saddle, but okay.

Beautiful boy, goofy rider

Yesterday, I felt a more balanced horse than I've ever felt. We long trotted over a pole both ways without even the slightest hesitation or hitch in his stride. Then we cantered over it both ways without hesitation. He flowed. I mostly went along with him and must not have gotten in his way too much.

He's not perfect. I have to get him moving and then ask for collection and contact, but that's okay. He's building up his muscles and learning to support himself (and me) and we'll get there together. He is trotting lovely circles in frame and his canter (yep, still cantering in the outdoor, woo!) is beautiful. It's better when I remember to bend and relax, but he is tolerant of my stiffness in a way he hasn't always been. I think that means that somewhere along the line, this horse and I have bonded.

I know it means we're moving forward on our journey together.

And as for Lena, she and I are remembering how to ride together, too. That's good for both of us and is probably good for Calabar, too. Lena teaches me to slow down and focus. Calabar pushes me to, well, push us both.

What a wonderful thing to have two such amazing horses in my life, each of them showing me something different about myself.

Long overdue update

Well thing have moved along without me documenting a lot of it here, but that has become the theme for 2013.

Dixie, my almost-horse, has found a much more suitable home with a young woman who is so delighted with her it shines through in every email update she sends me and in every photo I've taken of them since the day they picked her up.

Dixie and the right owner

Clyde has moved to a new barn with his sponsor and future adopter, Mary Sue. We are hoping the move helps clear up his hives (his immune system is figuring things out), but mostly it's a better fit for him and for Mary Sue.

Big handsome brown horse

So we are currently between Neigh Savers horses which means--gasp! I have a lot of time for my own horses and maybe to do a little writing, too.

Calabar is coming along nicely with his Dressage work, sometimes despite my input. I rode Lena recently, too, and realized what a different horse she is from Calabar. I knew this, of course, but it was good to practice the difference. And to sit a trot. That was a nice change. She needs more work than she's getting right now--Allie is in Scotland and then is going off to get her Masters in the East Bay. Good for Allie but kind of a bummer for us. On the other hand, it will be good to ride Lena more often if I can make that happen. The balance between the two horses is interesting and instructive.

AND we have a new-to-us recycled cat named Simon. He is a Siamese and talks like one. He is ten (we think) and has so far exhibited only a minor interest in the outside sometimes. He loves sitting in Steve's lap wherever Steve happens to be seated. I don't think Simon has interrupted any meetings with his distinctive meow, but I'm not here all day with the two of them so I can't swear to that.

Simon warming Steve's spot on the sofa

I'm still busy, still working hard and enjoying whatever runs through my days. Life is good and full of slobbery horse kisses. What else would I need? Oh, right. A perpetual supply of fresh carrots.

Turning a page on fear

Life offers ongoing lessons and life with horses tends to provide multiple chances to find out just how much there is left to learn. Since he bounded into my life in 2007, the road has been interesting for Calabar and me. We've had ups and downs--definitely a few moments of fear and frustration, but so many more of absolute joy and connection. He greets me at his gate every day, always ready to ride, always willing to give a good snuggle.

He really gives the best hugs ever

It has not always been easy, but from day one there has always been something between this big brown horse and me.

In fact, the very things that drew me to Calabar--his energy, his big presence, his straightforward attitude about the way things should go--are the things that have also led to our more painful incidents. The incidents, of course, led to fear, anxiety, less riding, and so on.

I'm still not where I want to be--galloping along at full speed, carefree and laughing--but I am riding more and enjoying it. I am learning to push him and trust that he'll respond and even if that response is a little belligerent, that I can handle it.

So far, it's working. He's happier. He's excited to be out with me and hasn't even really tried anything evil. He's a little lazy, but he doesn't get mad when I push him past it. He is attentive and responsive and relaxed. Maybe even a little relieved that I'm taking control so he doesn't have to, both of us responding to the ever-increasing level of trust.

Well, he looks good anyway.

Trust has been hard. Trust in the form of cantering has been vaguely terrifying and the mere thought of cantering in the outdoor caused hyperventilation. I had not cantered in the outdoor arena for, well, forever--afraid that Calabar might just take off. Or more specifically, that he would take off and I wouldn't be able to control him. In the indoor arena--a more contained environment--there has been cantering and jumping. There have even been various pranks and silly episodes worked through with as much grace and confidence as I can ever muster.

But the outdoor? With the scary bushes of doom and the wide open spaciness? Oooo.. shiver.

The other day, my friend Allie (who has been riding both Lena and Calabar) said, "Just do it." So I did. And my horse was good. Even when I got a little off-balance, he kept a happy face and moved forward in a relaxed and calm place.

Unlike riding motorcycles, leaning into the turn on horses is not necessary.

Then I slid off his butt backwards just because I could and he sighed and said, "You are ruining the reputation of crazy Thoroughbreds everywhere." I told him it was his fault for taking such a rookie and turning her into a huge fan of crazy Thoroughbreds. So much of a fan that fear is just not an option any more and trust continues to build on itself with every step.

Bar says, "You're embarrassing me."

Next we will try some jumping because I'd like to be a part of something that makes my horse smile this much.

"Wheeee!!!!"