Calabar the Calm

That title is not a typo. I'm not 100% sure it's not a behavioral anomaly, but it is not a typo. Not lately. And while I don't want to jinx myself (or him), I also want to give the big brown horse some credit for his hard work and dedication to being cooperative. Especially at dinner time. (His, not mine. Mine comes after his.)

What are we doing? Besides drooling a little, I mean.

He is attentive. He is relaxed. He is full of curiosity and playfulness. I have been experimenting with loose reins and a bareback pad, relying on balance and trust--letting go of a need to completely control him--and believing we work better together than bouncing in different directions. This is hard at a trot where there is a lot of bouncing but it turns out we can actually get in sync. The canter is, however, much more divine.

It seems when I let go of the need to control, which stems from the fear that still lurks in my psyche, he relaxes. And when he relaxes, I relax.

Ah.

Epiphanies are sometimes so very hard to get to. At least until they hit you in the head with a resounding "thunk." Or "think." It might be "think." Unless I think too much and then the thunk is better.

As I've often said--though likely in different words and turns of phrase--going with logic would have brought me to a different horse. The thunk of my heart when I first met Calabar definitely overrode the think part of the equation.

Leading with my heart has (mostly always) turned out to be the right thing. Even if he reverts to Calabar the goofy tomorrow, it's been well worth it to walk, trot and canter this road with him.