I wrote about it then for our local horse publication
but I never posted it here. I don't really know why except this blog had ceased
to hold my time and attention as I moved more and more of my time and energy
into teaching SCUBA and exploring the world under the waves.
Here is what I
wrote then, not knowing more changes were on the horizon. Perhaps this is my way
of saying good bye to 2020 and opening the door to 2021, perhaps it's just me
remembering how I got here.
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We didn’t start out to be a horse family at all, it just kind of happened. One
day, we were riding horses at a ranch near Yosemite and WHAM the next day we had
Lena. We spent that first two years as a one-horse family, Lena having enough
energy and attention-seeking behavior to manage three humans with ease. Then
along came Calabar, adding a whole new personality--one that balanced Lena in
interesting ways and gave us a lot of adventures as a two-horse family. This
year has brought us painfully back to being a one-horse family. It’s still too
raw and too new to know how this will play out but it’s part of this journey we
chose when we brought home our first horse, that beautiful spotty mare that
changed us forever.
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| Lena's last trip to Slide |
Okay, so it was a little more involved than WHAM. We wanted
to take my daughter Katie on an adventure and found this ranch in Gold Country
that offered fun (not nose-to-tail) trail rides and cutting lessons. We rode
entertaining horses for a year and a half, always coming home limping for the
next week, never complaining but never really improving, either. What? Take
lessons at home? Pssht. We leapt right in and decided to buy one of the animated
and intelligent horses we’d been riding, opening our hearts and our world to
Lena Rey Flo. Steve says it was her energy and wanting to build on our family
but I think it was those long eyelashes and big curly ears.
Lena was a sensitive
and responsive horse--gentle with beginners but a taskmaster with you if she
thought you knew better. She taught us all a lot and she loved being an only
horse. Really. Three humans to worship me? Most excellent, said the princess. We
were enough different to keep her entertained and she got more than enough
exercise and attention. Trail rides were an exercise in sharing. When it was
just two of us, one would ride out and one would ride back. When Katie was with
us, it was mostly walking for Steve and me but it was always a good adventure
even from the ground.
Then I fell in love with Calabar and we had a different
horse-to-human ratio--we had an ex-racehorse, Lena had a boyfriend, a protector
and someone to antagonize through the pipe panel. She adored him. He mostly
adored her but more importantly he became a part of our family. Sometimes the
black sheep but always willing to be the sidekick to Lena’s over-the-top
presence. We had a little over 8 years as a two-horse family, years with trail
rides and cow adventures and counting out treats and carrots evenly because they
were certainly keeping track.
And then one day it came to an end.
The reasons
don’t really matter. She, in her normal dramatic fashion, injured herself in
ways that were ultimately not fixable. We all said goodbye to her on a sunny
morning that should have been darker and full of clouds but wasn’t. Lena heard
me leading Calabar up the path and whinnied for him before she could even see
him, knowing beyond a doubt the rhythm of his footfalls. Calabar nuzzled her,
gave her a nip, then stood quietly nearby while we waited for the vet to come.
When I tried to put him away, Lena got so frantic, I brought him back. We waited
for the first shot to take effect before I walked him away from her the last
time.
And then it was over. A different and altogether worse kind of WHAM.
Sometimes I think Calabar still looks for her, I know I do. And then I remember.
We’re a one horse family again. This is the way it started and there will still
be adventures for Calabar, Steve and me. They will just be different adventures
than what we had planned. Life is like that, I guess, and there is a lot more
living to do. Lena says so from wherever she is. With a big throaty whinny and
probably even a squeal of joy on top of that.
To the spotty horse who became my
first muse, I say thanks. You were the best first horse this family could have
wished for.
I am still diving and I still have Calabar. Steve and I moved apart but are still good friends and see each other regularly. I moved in with my boyfriend and his kids and grandchildren last year, got to try lobster diving and certified a lot of divers before, well, you know - COVID. It's a full house but I've had the pleasure of SIP with all of them. Sometimes it's hard, but having the chance to be a part of their lives has been pretty amazing.
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| My girls |
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Calabar is 20 this year and as feisty as
ever. I'm not riding but that is my New Years Resolution for 2021. He is definitely not ready for retirement. Definitely. Not.
Re-reading
some of my older posts reminds me of the balance (both mental and physical) that
connection to this horse gives me. Grounding. Peace. Joy. Required therapy after
2020? I'd say yes.
Happy New Year (almost) to the whole world. May we all find a way through the
rest of 2020 and, as I said in many a Christmas card this year, May 2021 NOT suck.
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| Full of fire |
