Sometimes, in the midst of beating myself up and wishing I'd done better, Steve smacks me (delicately) upside my head.
He just told me how proud he is of me and how much I've been able to accomplish with Calabar and reminded me not to minimize all the work we've actually done together. He said, "You love him and he loves you and I think you did have an epiphany yesterday!" He's excited to see what is going to happen with us now.
Then he made me cry.
As I stated in an earlier post, one of my biggest fears is that Calabar will hurt me badly enough I can't ride. Or worse. And then he'd be the horse no one would want because he hurt his rider.
Do you know what Steve just promised me? He promised that if anything happened, he would do his very best to find my big horse a home. He'd call Devon and Howie and Karen and find my network of blog and Facebook friends and make sure my big guy didn't become dog food.
NOT, by the way, that I intend to let anything happen, but good grief I feel like a lucky girl.
1 comment:
Jessica,
Big John is my first horse, ever. I have had him now for 2 years, and I'm finally to a point where I'm getting comfortable riding him. I have fallen off of him, broken my back and clavicle, been stepped on, got rope burns, etc.
My suggestion to you, is to simply keep trying -- stay focused on your baby steps. Do your ground work as you are doing, and make sure that you take the opportunity to breathe.
If something were to ever happen, and you needed to find a home for your big guy, I can tell you that I would take care of him and love him as you do. I would however, admonish you to just keep doin' what you're doing, be patient with yourself and be patient with him. When you actually realize that you can trust him not to hurt you, things suddenly get better. If you're riding western, you've got an "oh my gosh grab bar," use it [I DO!]. If you're not riding western, consider it. Nothing says "I ain't fallen off" like a breast collar and double rigged western saddle. Also, if you keep your feet in front of you, it is nearly impossible to fall off.
-Dan
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