Work has taken a lot of my time and sapped a lot of my energy over the last year--especially the last six months or more. One client in particular represented 90% of my workload and stress--wake-me-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night type stress. "Have to remember this. Can't forget that. Oh! And the other thing!" I couldn't turn it off no matter how hard I tried. I kept trying to squeeze out time to ride, time to be with my family, but even when I had it, my brain wouldn't let go of work.
Last week, that client decided to "go a different direction" and that has resulted in a dramatic down-sizing of our operations and a temporary (I mostly hope) move to part time for me. (Luckily, still with health care coverage.)
You might ask, "Why mostly?" and that's a good question.
Because I am no longer so exhausted and emotionally drained that I can't summon the energy to ride my horse.
Because my stomach doesn't clench when I wake up in the morning.
Because I get to work on different projects and problem-solve instead of chasing down the many pathways one client was broken.
Because I can focus on Steve and our home and enjoying each other.
Because I can help ride Lena so she gets more attention and work--very good things for her and for me. It's really nice to ride a horse that knows a little more than Calabar does sometimes so I can focus more on what I need to learn.
It's also nice to leave work in the afternoon and have time to spend with all the loves of my life without rushing. Without feeling like I'm shorting one to tend to another.
I don't know yet what will happen, I don't even really know what I want to happen. I just know I'm going to enjoy a little respite while I figure it all out. A respite full of ponies and maybe even a close look at writing opportunities out there. Who knows what might happen with a few more hours in the day?